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Times of India dated 7 mar 2010..(Delhi Times) Haughty or naughty? Is there a difference between girls from co-ed schools and girls from girls only schools ???
.Haughty or naughty?
Is there a difference between girls from co-ed schools and girls from girls only schools?
From the point of view of most parents, the only difference between coed and girls’ schools that really matters is that single-sex schools are ‘safer’ for their daughters. But students seem to have a more detailed, radically different – and rather uniform – perspective on the differences between girls from co-ed schools and those from single-sex ones. Girls on both sides seems to have the sharpest opinions, with the words ‘despo’ and ‘attitude’ being used. DT figures out whether students think there’s any difference between girls from single-sex schools and co-ed ones, and what those are.
‘Desperate’ measure
It’s surprising that Anshula Thakwani, 17, a Class XII student from a Delhi girls’ school, is the most candid about the differences. “In a girls’ school, girls are always going like ‘He’s so cute, he’s so this’ around guys – that’s the only way they look at guys. It’s the first thing they think of. I have guy friends from other schools, and they all say that single-sex schoolgirls are very desperate. To some extent, that’s true also. Even the guide who takes us for trips, etc – they talk like that even about him!” she says, giggling.
Her friend Aarti Sharma, also 17 and in Class XII, but from another girls’ school in Delhi, doesn’t agree, though. “I have guy friends who feel that girls from girls schools are more despo, but I don’t think so, not really,” she says. She adds, “I do have a friend who’s weird around guys – from another girls’ school – she giggles a lot, gets all hyper, nervous, keeps says OMG OMG.” But she firmly reiterates that that’s just a one-off example.
Which bitch?
The most common trait that seemed to set girls’ only students apart is a perceived ‘bitchiness’ (and yes, that’s the word used). But some also said that they were better groomed, better turned out. “There are lots of differences,” says Aakriti Ahuja, 19, now in her first year at Hindu College, but a graduate from a girls’ school. “Girls from co-ed schools are smarter, more presentable, maybe because when you stay around girls, there’s pressure to be smarter. But they’re also more bitchy and more conscious of themselves – typical girl stuff. That’s because maybe it’s got something to do with guys, and then you gossip, and then the jealousy factor creeps in – like ‘How’s she looking better than me?’
Girls in co-ed aren’t always like this maybe because guys don’t think that way, so when you stay around guys, you’re more chilled out too.”
Do co-ed girls think the same way? Srishti Sharma, 18, now in her first year at Maitreyi
College, agrees.
“Yeah, they do have a superiority thing going on. They always have an attitude, and it’s easy to figure out – like, ‘Oh, she must be from a convent’,” she says.
Shy-fi
Other opinions include one that single-sex schoolgirls have trouble ‘adjusting’ to boys if they join a co-ed college – that they’re less confident in the presence of the opposite sex. Aakriti’s friend Sakshi Jain, 19, also from Hindu College, who’s from a girls-only school, agrees that they’re bitchier, but also says they take time to get used to having guys around. “When girls from girls’ school come to a co-ed college, it takes them time to adjust – and you know how guys are. These girls like to stick with other girls, they don’t open up very easily with boys. Not everybody’s like that, though – Aakriti and I are from a girls’ school, but we’ve had a fair amount of interaction with boys too, so we’re cool,” she says.
Srishti also thinks that that’s one of the things that sets girls’ school girls apart. “Guys aur girls ke beech interaction necessary hota hai, and those of us who’re from co-ed schools are more comfortable in that milieu. We don’t feel uncomfortable. These girls have problems adjusting to co-ed colleges – ke boys ke saamne yeh nahin karna hai, woh nahin karna hai…” she says. Palak Suri, 17, a Class XII student from a Delhi co-ed school, echoes that thought. “Girls from co-ed schools have more exposure, they’re more confident about talking to boys, and believe more in equality. Girls’ school girls lack confidence when it comes to talking to guys,” she says.
But Anshula thinks the opposite is true. “Girls from single-sex schools are more carefree – they’ll sit however, wherever. But co-ed girls will always make sure their legs are crossed properly, and will sit carefully. Our teachers tell us we’re mannerless, we’ll just sit whatever way we want to,” she laughs.
Sakshi thinks that single-sex schoolgirls are better behaved. “Girls’ school girls are more wellmannered, and have a better personality. Being in a convent for so many years, you’re always being told to sit like this, don’t sit like that, talk like this, don’t talk like that… there’s a greater emphasis on grooming,” she says.
Same difference
There are, of course, those who think this whole girls’ school vs co-ed stuff is bunkum. “I don’t think there’s any difference,” says Aarti. “It’s just about people’s perceptions. I know co-ed girls who are shy around boys. I’ve been in a girls’ school all throughout, but have never felt that way. It’s totally about how you’ve been brought up. As for presentability – everyone wants to look presentable.”
What do the guys think? Dhruv Sharma, 17, a Class XII student from Delhi, thinks there’s no significant difference that he can find. “It’s commonly believed that there’s a difference, but there’s isn’t much, really. I have a friend from a girls’ school who’s not shy, she has guy friends too. The only difference might be that in single-sex schools, girls spend more time with their own gender, so maybe they understand each other better… I don’t know. Only that they do seem to prefer the company of girls more than co-ed girls,” he says.
The jury’s still out on the differences, if any, but one thing is clear – obviously, ‘convent-educated’ doesn’t mean the same things in school circles and in the marriage market!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sumit Vohra (Webmaster) on
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Yes We Had a Great Brainstromming session on the same issue !!
rahul gulati said:hmm....it all depends on the upbringing by parents and the effect of immediate social environment around the individual that influences the personality development. And it is unwise to apply a straight jacket formula to attribute the pesonality trait of an individual to the type of school and its gender makeup only. There are all kinds and mixed kind of personality traits.
A child/adoloscent spends on an average, in a day, more time outside the school environment which is a part of the social environment that conditions the brain and personality. And in todays scenario it does not make any difference if its a uni or coed school as the exposure, media and internet is immence.
So i think uni ed/coed per se in itself does not make much difference in an urban metro setup.
BTW i am wondering why the author CHANDNA ARORA uses the term-"single-sex schools" and not use "UNI-ED" or so to say used Co-ed and not "double-sex school/multiple-sex school" and still BTW which school she is from- uni or co-ed or to say single or double/multiple sex school. The answer to this will open another realm of personality.:)
and didnt we had a far better dimag storming discussion before on this forum earlier
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Permalink Reply by 2tb7rbabbx9gy on
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I will never prefer to enroll my kid to a girls only school. I would like to give her the exposure to the environment which she will have to face throughout her life.
This world is not a no men's land, at every step in life u hv to deal with boys, starting from ur family. If she will study in girls only school, then tomorrow when she will hv to opt for higher studies, she will always want to go for a girls only college being hesistant to co-ed environment. That time how will I be able to answer her question that ' Mom why u sent me to a girls only school then?'
I myself studied in co-ed school and graduated from girls only college and found a great difference in the environment. During school time as we were always surrounded by boys, so we ocassionally used to think about them, but in college girls always used to talk about boys only. The moment any boy entered r college, all girls used to walk around him, which thing I indeed hated.
I'll prefer to enroll my daughter to an avg. co-ed school and not to a hi-fi one becoz of d difference of gentry. And obviously never to a girls only school, whether it is too good.
As regards convent schools are concerned I'm strictly against them, I'll prefer to enroll my kid to a school which teaches her our culture, being a hindu I'll not admit her to a minority school which is made generally for christians. I'll not give money to teach her their culture but will prefer to spend money on teaching her my culture. Although I'm not anti-christian, Christianity in itself is a good religion, but being a hindu I'll love to promote hinduism.
Thanx.
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It depends upon parent and the family. Want to share one real life example with you all. One of my close friend belong to a Very orthodox family and he wanted to give his daughter an fair life. But I was kind of surprised when he choosed Girls only school for his daughter. I am not against it or have other thoughts. Just want to tell parents need to make theselves responsible for the kid's growth.
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